Not so Hare-brained: Bunny makes milkman’s world go round!!

Amongst the barrage of macabre, depressing, vapid information that generally stares back at the start of the day, a very interesting news caught my eye: “rabbit milk to help treat heart patients”..With a title like that, it was hard not to read on..The report went on to explain that rabbit milk possess immense medicinal value that would aid heart patients in combating with cardiovascular woes..Consequently an exponential rise in the number of rabbit farms was also predicted..The implications of this piece of information boggled my mind..

Imagine waking up to ur nearest ‘bunny dairy’ or ‘mother dairy’ and buying packets of hare milk for daily consumption..Cafes would start asking customers “would u prefer ordinary milk or bunny milk with ur coffee??”..And if there’s milk can ice cream be far behind!!Rabbit milk ice creams..Imagine it..If u thought it was difficult picking an ice cream flavour now, wait till u have to pick the milk as well before u even get to the flavour..The obvious marketing strategy would be to promote rabbit milk ice cream as ‘heart friendly ice cream’..

It is also interesting to wonder wat the cows of the world would think abt this scenario..Its true they have never considered goats, buffaloes or other animals to be any serious competition..In the back of their bovine minds, cows know that humans will fiddle around wit other milk jst to get a change of taste or bring a little variety but at the end of the day cow milk would reign supreme..However considering man’s obsession wit a healthy heart, rabbit milk could easily challenge cow milk..On the other hand, maybe cows would welcome this revelation considering how exhausted they must be getting milked all the time..I bet most of them feel totally used..That’s y one of the meanings of the word ‘milk’ is ‘to exploit’..If I were a cow I would definitely object to being methodically milked by strange men without any sort of preamble..

The other question that flitted across my mind was how difficult it was going to be to milk rabbits..Now the one advantage of cows is that they r not known to be the fastest of animals around..So I would presume it is relatively easier to milk them..But milking a rabbit would be a totally different ball game..Unless there is some sort of mechanical device that would hold the rabbits in place, only Ussain Bolt and Tyson Gay would be able to successfully collect their milk..

In fact, if rabbit milk turns out to be as big a deal as scientists believe, it might even be reflected in our popular culture..Elmer Fudd would no longer be chasing Bugs Bunny wit a gun, but in fact wit an empty milk bottle..The Duracell bunnies wouldn’t last half as long..The Easter bunny would stop leaving chocolates and eggs and instead leave packets of milk..Even Playboy, considered to be the embodiment of sexiness all across the world, would lose a bit of oomph if its logo the Playboy bunny, were associated wit something as maternal as milk..Ironically, Playboy bunnies r known to cause more heart attacks than cure them..

Having said all that, it would be a medical breakthrough if rabbit milk delivers on all its promises..It’s an oft-repeated statement that the cure to every disease is there in nature itself..Perhaps, the cure to diseases like cancer, aids and diabetes is around us..Nature is so abundant that thousands of scientists would have to work hundreds of years before they can figure out the benefits of things around us..So next time u visit the zoo, don’t forget to take ur milking gloves and an empty bottle..

Jaishree Ram,

Prats..