Another Candle On The Cake..!!

Bam Bam bam..Boom boom..Dishum dishum..These are not the sounds of any war sequence..This is d way how generally someone’s birthday starts in hostels..And I am no exception to this rule..I surely ws greeted with sound thumping and heart pumping bangs from all side and not knowing who ws hitting as I ws under a blanket..So thanq guys for making my birthday special as it would be something that would go unto my memoirs..

Wenever anyone asks me wen my birthday is, I jst tell them that I ws born on the 66^th day of the year..I feel that it’s pretty innovative and I lyk to make others work their brains off to know my birthday..Wen they turn up wit some wrong answer I jst tell them how poor they r in maths..Sometimes laugh my guts out and then again let those poor souls know that my birthday is on the 7^th of march..

In the spring of 1989 a new member ws added to my family..That member fortunately for u’ll and unfortunately for some others is me..!!My parents had a raring Luv marriage..So to mark me as the symbol of their luv they specifically named me Prateek..Which in itself means ‘symbol’ (in Hindi and Bengali)..And as my full name boasts Prateek Sur, I tell others that I’m the symbol of music and luv..That’s the way I anagrammatize my name..

This year I gave myself the best birthday gift I’ve given myself in all these 21 years..I learnt swimming..I started learning swimming on 1^st Feb. and had one single goal in my mind that I should be able to swim like a free fish before my birthday..And I did it..Hav not learned as gud as my fellow counterparts but still I hav learnt a lot..I really was hydrophobic and now am out of it..So it’s a big accomplishment for me..

Happy Birthday to U, Happy Birthday to U,

Happy Birthday dear Prateek, Happy Birthday to U,

From old Friends Adieu, from old Friends Adieu,

May Gud life be wit U, As Happy as U...!!

Birthdays..Has anyone thought of it..Wat is it??Everyone has them and each person reacts to them differently..When we are children, every birthday is great..It's all about the parties, presents and cake..And each year is one step closer to being thirteen, the age we are officially called a teenager..We think we're not kids anymore..Out go the parties at Chuck E.; Parties with themes. Now our parties can be boys and girls, and it has to be cool..Turning sixteen, especially for guys, is a big deal..We are coming into adulthood..Puberty has hit us and the dating world awaits us. It also means we are one step closer to the promise land, turning twenty-one.

Twenty-one is when we think our life really begins, and by life we mean adult parties and drinking..After twenty-one we still have some milestone birthdays coming up..Twenty-five, thirty, and some people think every five years after that is a big deal..Then you have the big 50...And of course everything after eighty is a blessing because most of us don't think we'll even make it that far..But I wish to complete my century and then pass away..

Neways what about the birthdays in between milestones? Are they not as important? On my 21st birthday, I'm left to wonder, what's the big deal anymore?

I've had this attitude for a while now and it drives my Friends crazy..It upsets them that I don't get that excited about my birthday anymore..I'm not as into it as them..When they ask what I want to do that day my reply is, 'I don't care, we can just stay in', which infuriates them even more..To them, everyone should be happy and excited when it's their birthday..And they'r not  hypocrites because when their birthday rolls around they'r genuinely excited and almost always thinking of something they want to do..

I guess I just don't have it in me anymore..I can't get excited the way I did when I was younger..I don't see the point..To me it's just another day; I just happened to be born on it..And, honestly, it has nothing to do with aging..I'm 21, and I have no problem saying that, because really, my friends and I still act like we are kids..I firmly believe that age is just a number..You're only as old as you feel and I feel young..So my problem has nothing to do with aging..When your birthday comes it reminds you that another year has gone by..Another year of your life is over..And when I look back on the year that's past, that's where my problem lies..

It's a problem because every year on my birthday I look back on the year before and I realize that I didn't accomplish all that I thought I would..

I had a whole year, 365 days, to do things and I didn't..I let that time pass me by and it makes me so mad at myself..Mad enough to make myself depressed..Angry enough to make me question the person I am..

Another year goes by and I realize that, once again, I didn't push myself hard enough to achieve my goal, whatever that goal may be at the time..So I question whether or not I really have it in me, whether or not I really am good enough..And this wears me down emotionally..It puts me in a funk every year around my birthday..

By not accomplishing anything I've basically wasted a year of my life. Now, let me just say, I don't just sit around all year doing nothing but waiting for the days to go by..I go places, I do things and I get some things accomplished..But, for me, it's never enough..I'm my biggest critic and I could pick the tiniest thing I didn't do that year and I get down on myself..Nothing else matters but that one thing..

I think the reason for this is that I always think about family members and friends who are no longer living or no longer with me..And I think about the fact that any one of them would give anything to be alive again..I think about the fact that when they were alive, they lived their life. They accomplished things..My best friend, Sumit, died when he was twenty-one, much too young. But, by that time he was already living his dream of being in an engineering college..By twenty-one, he had accomplished so much because he worked hard every day and he didn't let time pass him by..And here I am, 21, and I can't say the same..My urge to learn swimming came after he got drowned at Pondicherry..I dint wanna commit the same mistake that he did..

And to some extent, I feel like I'm disrespecting those who have passed or who are no longer wit me. I'm disrespecting the life they could have had, and maybe life in general..I'm not taking advantage of the opportunity I have in front of me..That opportunity is time..I have the time right now to make something of myself..And right now is the time to take advantage of that..

It's 2010...My 21st birthday is today..I won't accomplish everything by the time I leave college, but I vow to not be so hard on myself this birthday..Starting today I'm going to do what I can to get closer to my dreams and goals..I'm going to appreciate life more and give it everything I got..I'm going to show life the respect it deserves, not just for me, but for everyone who no longer has this luxury..And when I blow out my candles this year, I'll make a wish that every year that I'm alive is better than the one before..My birthday won't be a burden anymore..It will be a reason to celebrate..And I'm going to face it the way I did as a kid, with laughter and excitement at all that I have yet to accomplish and all that I have to look forward to in my life..

Jaishree Ram,

Prats..