Sunday, April 18, 2010

Aa..Aa..Aa..Aachooooooooooooooooooooo..!!

This is not a very difficult sound to perceive..Yeah, u’ll got it correct..It’s THE sneeze..When ur ear drums r conked wit this sound from someone in the surrounding, u start feeling that IT is coming..And when u feel this coming through ur oesophagus and wind pipe u know IT has entered u now and more precisely, ur Doomed..
It is said that having cough and cold once a year is a good thing..It actually clears our whole system of the dust and dirt that has entered into it for the past 52 weeks..But I say “Bull Shit”..How many of u buy this??Believe me, it does more harm than curing it..Added to it comes the personal troubles and the embarrassment..
Let me tell u some benefits that u have when ur inflicted upon by this divine cleaning gesture from god..Firstly, ur nose keeps on dripping all the time..Secondly, u’ll cough so frequently that even a TB patient will think that u r good competition..Thirdly, u’ll need to run to the bathroom or the sanitary basin every 10 minutes to clean off ur dripping nose or cast off ur cough..Fourthly, ur whole body will pain like hell..Fifthly, ur head and chest will be full of cough and thus will keep troubling wit aches all the day..Sixthly, u’ll find it difficult to even laugh..Seventhly, u’ll lose the urge to eat..Eighthly, the taste of ur mouth will become sour and even if u eat a jalebi u’ll not feel it tasty..Finally, u’ll feel more thirsty than a crow in a desert and this will be more prominent when u wake up in the middle of the nit and find ur throat as dry as a bone..All in all u’ll be doomed or rather ill-fated..
Now some more added benefits which will help u love this providential intervention even more..Whenever u r running off to the bathroom with a dripping nose u can’t stop even to wave a ‘Hi’ to a friend coming from the opposite direction..Supposing he has something important to say to u and u do stop by to take the message u’ll keep ur head stooped down so that he may not notice ur dripping nose as it is pretty obscene on his part..Moreover while making conversation u can’t draw in (breathe in tough) ur dripping nose..Doing this, as well, sounds very absurd and sickening to the person listening to the conversation..On top u’ll dirty off all ur kerchief’s to ur dripping nose..Now u’ve only two options either wash them thoroughly or discard them..I prefer the 2nd option..
Having cough and cold once a year is as inevitable as death and as shameless as a nude statue..It is as obstinate as a mule and not just as dangerous as a machine gun (rather even more dangerous..!!)..Oh Lord, am as restless as ambition for it to get over, as it is turning me as sleepless as an owl..Please don’t make it as lawful as eating and as essential as dew..Rather make it as lawless as the stormy wind..And for heaven’s sake, don’t make it as lasting as the pyramids..
It’s been three long (long long long......) weeks since I’ve been having cold..I hate it..I don’t need a cleaning of my internal system..Come on Jesus, if u don’t listen to my prayers, at least read my blog!!


Jaishree Ram,
Prats..

2 comments:

  1. C'mon man, don't be so pessimistic. you fall sick once in a while, and that too for few days. Reading this blog makes me feel that your life becomes hell in those few days. One shouldn't be this rigid.........

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey its an awesome post...i seriously liked it.its very humorous too...whatever u said is correct..i can understand ur pain,,d biggest reason fot it dat...me too having d same right now...

    ReplyDelete