Y should Husband’s have all the fun??

Yesterday nit I was viewing SRK’s Swades, dunno maybe for the 50^th time or so, when something struck me and what better place to discuss it than here..The scene was when Geeta was seeing her prospective groom and she refused to marry him because he wanted her to shift to his hometown and also leave her job as a school teacher..The reason that the groom gave was “no girl in their family ever goes out to earn”..That is so so lame..!!

Marriage changes everything..Especially careers, as most women know too well..Far better than men..Anita Tandon, an IT professional in Bangalore, knew that marrying Ahmadabad dentist Harsh Chaddha, might be a career-ruining decision..The couple might have lived in different cities after the wedding in order to pursue their career, but Anita was not comfortable with that idea..Luckily the partner who had to change cities, was not Anita..

Men like Harsh, who moved to Bangalore to be with Anita, r the exception, not the rule..Most women r not as fortunate as Anita..Thousands of women unquestioningly give up their careers to be with their husbands..It is not abnormal to find a woman leaving a lucrative and good job, to move to a new city and look for ‘substantial’ work from scratch..It can take months to adjust to the new place; even longer to adjust to a new job..And there is no guarantee she will find a job commensurate with her qualifications..

Y cant it be different??It is essential to live together as man and wife..Y isn’t it a possibility for the woman to hold onto the good job, with her husband moving to her city??

It has always been taken for granted that a woman’s career is less important than the man’s, that she will never be the breadwinner and consequently, may or may not pursue a career after she marries..The woman’s income is considered no more than a fringe benefit to be tacked onto her husband’s pay packet..But the recent recession underlined the advantages of belonging to a double income family..Many men lost their jobs at short notice and it was the ‘fringe benefit’ of the wife’s salary that kept things going..

It is time society realized that modern families don’t really have a single breadwinner any more..And that a woman has as much right to ask her prospective husband to move down the career path she follows..

Equally it should not be considered “bad” if a man earns less than his wife and does more house work than her..

This is supposed to be the age of equality and reason and marriage should no longer be defined by age old notions of gender roles..A woman’s career is as important as that of a man..Whipping up new dishes and raising children cannot be regarded as her sole responsibility..But it is not men alone who have to change their mindset about marriage..Women must do so too..

Jaishree Ram,

Prats..